The Brotherhood of The Horns...

The Brotherhod of The Horns!!! Got a nice ring na??? Well, wondering what this is all about? No need of going to all the lengths in guessing the meaning. This is not any pro-Catholic secret sect, nor is it any pro-Nazi anti-Jewish lethal group. For those with Potter-mania, it might ring something. Well, u r wrong again. I hate HP and anything connected with them!!!

What I'm talking about is a "vastly huge" clan spread throughout the world, spanning every continent and country that is inhabitable by humans!!! There is no written documentation available on this group of people.

The first and foremost rule of the Brotherhood (no similarities to Fight Club rules!) is that u don't talk about the Brotherhood. Not that someone will come after u; it's just that no one knows that they are a part of it! The second rule is that there is no thing as a fucking rule!!!

Welcome to The Brotherhood Of The Horns!!! It was during the past two days that I came to realise that such a thing exists and more importantly, that I'm an active member of it. Want to know more? Then read on!

Technically speaking, anyone above the age of 18 (that is vastly regional depending upon ur geographical location) and in possession of a drivers license is a member. U don't need to do anything special to be a member. Once caught in a traffic jam, u automatically qualify! Welcome to the world of fretting, fussing, hissing n cursing!!! Oh I forgot to add, welcome to the world of loud blaring horns!!!

For the past few days, I'm the Transporter. And the passengers are my mom n sis. Since this is the Indian version, I chose a Maruti over the Audi. After all, India comes home in a Maruthi! And on my way back, I have to come thru this one hell of a road thru which all the traffic to the city from the south enters! And barely 10 metres wide at most places and with heavy traffic, this is one the frequent meeting place of The Brotherhood! And I was an active member of the meetings for two days in a row now!

I don't want to bore u with my version of the meeting. So I'll make it short. Today, while returning after a doc's appointment, I was caught in Kuruppam Road. It's the second day that I'm stuck there. Add to that, I had a close shave with an Activa while turning towards this road, thanks to a huge member of the clan, the college bus of Royal Engineering College. And this towering member of a bus was the one who called forth today's meeting. That would have been more than enough for my mom to rethink about the validity of my driving license, but luckily she didn't comment!

Another person worth mentioning here is an astrologer, and a quite famous one at that. He used to be the face of a channel in the early mornings for quite some time. I don't want to mention his name; not that I'm afraid that he will sue me for damage. It's just that the last time I mentioned him (or rather cursed him), I was driving and crossing a road in my car and an Innova came out of nowhere and if I hadn't slammed the brakes hard, I would have been another fine example of his skills at prediction! The matter is really simple- I hate to be an example for others!!!

Now lets come back to this gem of an astrologer. He predicted that I was going to have a hard time till 27. Those who know me for the past few years, especially my college mates, would be laughing hard and may comment, "as if we needed him to tell us this!" Well, I agree (and no name calling in the comments, pls!). Just wanted to enlighten the others on the current state of affairs! Well, he further went on to add that I'm not supposed to drive.. ahem ahem.. any vehicles! And my mom made my dad sell the all-option Zen that we owned when he got transferred to Gujarat! For all those who are interested in astrology or are die hard believers, u might be happy to know that I indeed met with an accident a few months back (if u r still interested, u can go back a few months in the blog n see the post on that!)

So, coming back to the original storyline, I'm stuck behind this private bus in this particular road cos just ahead of this, there is this college bus I was talking about. I don't know for what the hell it had stopped cos I couldn't see any students getting down. And they had stopped it at a nowhere! And adding to that, the real elite class of the clan, the Autorickshaw-wallahs enter the scene from almost all the directions! I can see them coming thru all the possible directions adding to the jam. They are coming even thru the footpaths on which even walking would have been difficult. And then the proceeding begins with the inaugural address by the auto-wallahs. They sing the anthem in unison with a variety of their horns. All is in order and the meeting begins. Soon, everyone is busy voicing their own opinions with their respective horns. And now the second phase and by far the most important phase begins. It's the attendance where u check to verify that every living and dead member from the family of the driver before u is very much alive in their memories. And the "roll-callers" are good enough to prefix and suffix the family with terms of affection starting with M,P,T,K etc.

Happy that we have remembered the family, without whom we would have been nothing, we move onto the next phase. This is attained when u have reached the saturation with ur patience and the name-callings seems so absurd to urself and instead u prefer muttering under the breath. And then u have the endless opportunity to take the huge visual feast around u, i e, neighbouring vehicles. The auto-wallahs n the boys check out all the things remotely feminine in a perimeter of 25 meters around them. And that is when u pass bills for consideration and approval in the meeting. This is also a favourable time for the girls to re-apply their make-up or give the guy in the bike next to hers the all bitchy-haughty look! If u are infinitely bored with the proceedings, u can turn up the music, sing along it, or u could just pick ur nose!!!

Now, many of u might ask me- where did this brotherhood come from when actually it's all hell let loose. Well, u have missed a picture here. Beneath all this, there is a fact that unites us- that we are as pissed off at the things as the guy next to us. And believe me, when u cuss or curse the driver ahead of u, just look around. U'll get that smile or nod from the driver next to u. It means he liked the point stressed and that he seconds u!!! Isn't it a sign enough??? It is a silent message that says, "That's like it, bro!"

FOOTNOTE: After a similar rendezvous yesterday, we come to Big Bazaar for shopping. After shopping, I open the doors of the car so that I can keep all the bags inside. And then I realise that some asshole has banged at the tail-lamp of my car. I hadn't noticed it before and I know for sure that it's new. Instantly, I remember that particular brother from my brethren who did it to my car and all the possible combinations from the Universal Code of Brotherhood's Affection and his family!!!

TOENOTE: Finally, my eight semester results came. And I've managed to clear all the papers. And that too with marks that I never imagined. After four years in this University, it never ceases to amaze me!!!

NAILNOTE: Its two months since most of my friends finished their respective courses and most of them have landed jobs, or have joined for PG or are at least are into serious job hunting. Why doesn't this bother me even a lil bit??? Hope that I'll at least start studying for my Mock CATs seriously!

"It's so hard when I've to and so easy when I want to!!!"